YMonday, January 09, 2006
The cool breeze won't stop brushing past me..
Oooh..i love this weather..the Greatness of He ;)
[the incessant rain is however strange dun u think?]
i woke up from this dream..realising who i was.
demanding, self-absorbed, obsessed, vulnerable.
i admit to such obstinance and it tickles me to the bones to realise this.
was i really that full of myself?haha.
i never knew.and perhaps, i have always known. [smirk]
one thing's for sure tho, i am not apathetic, indifferent, or stoic
towards wat people think of me.
in fact, it bothers me..everytime.
it matters to me to be well-liked, and to be doted on.
i dun understand how others can be so cold and calloused to have such apathy.
it takes so much will power and confidence to not give a heck abt being maligned.
heh.-teach me how to have a heart of stone.
naturally filled with benovelence and concern for the ppl close to me
- just dont cheat on me, lie to me and make a fool of me..
my heart will close its doors to giving a damn about you.
these are the things that will hurt me the MOST.
to be lied to through and through.
just tell me the truth and i promise you i'll accept u as u are.
just tell me what's really on ur mind and i'll listen to ur voice.
just tell me ur fears and i'll share with you mine
just don't lie to me if you dun wana lose me.
-cuz that will be wer u'll see the underside of me-Calloused.
i melt at every beautiful sight, every bewitching moves, angelic charm.
i admire those glitterati-es..with the weird hair-dos and designer wears from head to toe.
i am that girl who is not ashamed to be one.
that person who dun wana be seen as "cool" or "tough"..
i am just this girl.
i appreciate the gift of friendship, love and the existence of sufferings.
"without suffering there will be no compassion"
however, despite all this truth, i no longer long to be loved.
as the word love is just too full of complications with many things to be based upon.
I will love when He wants me to love..
for now, i have Him..who does so unconditionally :D
may you be blessed by Him.
_callous_ was here with you at
